A Summer Saturday

Today was the first day in a loooong time I decided to like... wear makeup. And not wear basketball shorts and a sports bra.

This was spurred by the fact that today we're going out to get pedicures and have lunch, so I won't be alone in my room all day listening to John Bytheway and doing Blogilates.

I kind of imagined this summer as being a time for me to hole myself up like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, and do nonstop spiritual enrichment and hard-core workouts until I at the end of August I emerge as a beautiful butterfly ready for college.

A beautiful, spiritual, mega-hot, in-shape butterfly.

I'm hoping that works out for me. I'll probably have go out and get some sun so I'm not the palest person in Utah though.

Updates:

I'm reading nonstop Nienie. I LOVE HER. Her book, her blog, her videos, everything. She inspires me so much; she is such an amazing mother, Latter Day Saint, human being... I hope I can learn to be as strong and centered as she is, and as at peace with myself. It was such a long journey for her, and her trials made her a beacon of hope to so many people. I hope we can learn about how precious and wonderful life is from her without needing to be put through the same intense pain and heartache. She is truly an inspiration.

Also, Blogilates is absolutely amazing. I am doing her beginners work-out calendar and totally loving it. It's a little basic so I'm embellishing with a few additional videos (now, anyway; I'm sure it'll get tougher pretty soon), but she's so talented and the videos are so do-able. You just turn on the video and see her being bright and smiley and adorable and motivating and you feel ready to work hard (although when you're in the middle of a super intense routine you're kind of like CASSEY SHUT UP.) 

For me, working out used to be something I was doing in tears after feeling fat and unattractive, and I had really bad feelings associated with it. It was almost like it was a punishment for not looking like I wanted to, or like how my friends looked. Instead of appreciating each small victory or growth, I felt angry and bitter that I had to put so much sweat and tears into looking like my friend who didn't need to work out to be thin.

But I have been really genuinely enjoying the regular work-out, and the feelings I get both during and afterwards. I feel productive and energized, and I like moving my body, even when it burns like craaazzy man. It's totally addicting. And as my friend Lexi says, it makes us not just thinner, but strong. And that strength is worth it all.

Guys, without a doubt, working out is not a punishment, but an immense blessing that comes with having a body. And I feel so blessed to have this body of mine, no matter what.