Sitting in bed with my lap top. I can see people playing ultimate frisbee outside my window- it was a beautiful day today. I love it when there's sunlight, and when I can sit on a bench outside and feel the heat of the sun on my cheek.
Today should have been a great day. I got up early to go run at the gym with my friend Amanda, then we had a nice breakfast at the cannon, and after that I still had loads of time before class. But anxiety kicked in. Before I could freak out too much I went back to the gym and ran another mile as fast as I could, which helps a lot. My anxiety is very physical, and makes my muscles tense up and causes me to shake really hard. When I can run it helps me put that energy into something better.
I went to class and then headed to the apartment complex that I was planning on staying at next year. First anxiety caused me to sit in front of the building for about 20 minutes freaking out how I didn't want to live in this dirty little dank apartment next year. Then I prayed for strength, stood up, and felt better. I went to the office and told them I wanted to sign a lease, and they told me they were all out of room.
Oh. Great. So after that I just felt drained. I just sat on a bench for an hour, feeling exhausted and numb. I headed to humanities but skipped theatre and just came back to my room to lay in bed.
And here I am. Like I said, today should have been a good day, but it wasn't. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Today should have been a great day. I got up early to go run at the gym with my friend Amanda, then we had a nice breakfast at the cannon, and after that I still had loads of time before class. But anxiety kicked in. Before I could freak out too much I went back to the gym and ran another mile as fast as I could, which helps a lot. My anxiety is very physical, and makes my muscles tense up and causes me to shake really hard. When I can run it helps me put that energy into something better.
I went to class and then headed to the apartment complex that I was planning on staying at next year. First anxiety caused me to sit in front of the building for about 20 minutes freaking out how I didn't want to live in this dirty little dank apartment next year. Then I prayed for strength, stood up, and felt better. I went to the office and told them I wanted to sign a lease, and they told me they were all out of room.
Oh. Great. So after that I just felt drained. I just sat on a bench for an hour, feeling exhausted and numb. I headed to humanities but skipped theatre and just came back to my room to lay in bed.
And here I am. Like I said, today should have been a good day, but it wasn't. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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